Monday, July 6, 2009

Serve With A Fine Whine

The Monday after a holiday weekend is enough of a drag without a serious blog to read. I hope this will brighten someone's day.

I've been writing parodies and silly poems since high school. Not long ago author Polly Whitney (if you haven't read her, you should) and I spent the better part of a year lobbing pig parodies at each other. I don't remember who or what started it. Here's one of mine:

(apologies to Cole Porter)

You're the chop
You're a prime kielbasa
Raised on slop
For Bob Evans's casa.
You're a Boar's Head honey-basted and spiral-cut,
You're a footlong Coney, a ring baloney, a Boston butt.

You're no sham
You're a lunchtime charmer
Like a ham
In a can from Armour
I'm the grissled chew in the dog's dish you will drop
But if, baby, I'm the butt roast, you're the chop.

You're the chop
You're a Hilshire patty,
You're the chop
Whether lean or fatty.
You're a weiner made by Oscar Meyer, Inc.
You're a Smithfield ham, a can of Spam, a breakfast link.

You're the meat
In a pork chop suey,
You'd be sweet
Cooked up cordon-bleuy
I'm the school lunch plate your kids will hate and swap
But if, baby, I'm the butt roast, you're the chop.

Check out my website for more parodies:

Happy Monday,

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